Hero System
by dogbertcarroll
Summary: Load Game Avatar - Xander Harris... Begin story in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... Story starts.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: ****I own no popular TV, Book, or Manga series.  
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**Hero System 1.2 beta**

He stood on an obsidian plane staring at a trio of sets of floating words. To his left the words were in red and appeared to be in Japanese. Straight in front of him they were blue and said, 'H.H. the Game' in English with 'Options' and 'Game Start' below that. Finally, to the right was, 'W.W.' in green English with 'Options' and 'Game Start' below.

He stood there for an indeterminate amount of time before it occurred to him that he should do something. Staring straight ahead, he said, "Options."

The blue letters flashed twice and a new set of words appeared in their place with several pictures below.

**Hellmouth High: The Game**

**Character choice?**

He instinctively waved his hand and assorted characters scrolled past with various titles and stats below them. He paused when it reached a dark haired teen and he read that entry.

"Alexander 'Xander' Harris - sidekick. Load character?" asked a voice.

"Load character," he agreed.

Xander spun around, wondering what was going on as he stared out at the featureless black landscape and sets of floating words before focusing on the ones in front of him that held his character sheet and he recalled what he'd done. He hadn't realized how empty he was until he'd become Xander. Things made a lot more sense now.

Examining his character sheet, Xander frowned. He had better stats than he expected, but he was being dragged down by 'Inferiority Complex, Major', and he really didn't believe that half the flaws they had listed for him were flaws. 'Hero Complex', which boiled down to not being able to leave someone in danger was hardly a flaw for instance, it was simply common human decency.

He had ten points to spend, but that wasn't enough to buy off a major inferiority complex, so he quickly searched through the listing for a flaw he could exchange it for, preferably something that only came up in a limited number of situations, rather than in every single roll of the dice!

He considered trading 'Never wanting for a nail' - a perk that made sure he was in the right place at the right time with the right tools to help the hero - but that was locked in place as a sidekick requirement, so he had to search for a better one.

It took a while, but he finally found one he could live with: 'Horn Dog' gave him major negatives in regards to controlling his libido, but he already had negative modifiers in that category from being a Californian teenage male. He was pretty sure that was an unfair stereotype, but since the negatives didn't stack he was fine with it.

He looked at his ten points remaining and then glanced through the list for merits, quickly snatching up 'double jointed', 'ambidextrous', and 'photographic reflexes' before stopping to look at his stats. None of his stats were all that impressive, but no longer being saddled with the 'inferiority complex' flaw should really help him get more from the mental ones. However, his dexterity was listed as low with the description being clumsy and he really wanted to rid himself of that one.

Two points in dexterity raised it to average, with the description being, 'Can walk and chew bubble gum at the same time!'

Xander snickered and dropped the final point into intelligence, not raising it from high-average, but changing the description from 'Honors Student' to 'With Honors Student'.

"Load Save?" Xander asked, satisfied with it for the moment.

"No saves available," the voice replied and Xander let out a relieved sigh as he'd forgotten to set difficulty and check some of the options.

"Set difficulty to easy, auto map on, scan on, help manual on, pause on, auto-save on, notifications on."

The game dutifully switched all his choices on.

"Cheat codes on?" he asked hopefully.

"Enter cheat code," the voice replied.

"Konami code," he offered, crossing his fingers.

"Random hats awarded, bobble head toggle enabled," the voice replied.

Xander reached up and pulled off a rather fancy top hat and chuckled. Re-checking the options, he nodded. "Start new game," he ordered and the world dissolved into pixels.

"Bro, what's with the hats?" Jesse asked.

The world had reformed and Xander found himself standing in front of Sunnydale High School with Jesse and Willow.

"Pause game," Xander said, causing the world to freeze and turn grey around him. He knew he was a blank avatar, who'd chosen to download the Xander character profile, created for the sole purpose of playing the game, but he was also Xander in a very real sense and he'd just regained the two people who meant the most to him.

Willow looked so young and innocent, and the eyes she turned his way were filled with love and affection; while Jesse looked... alive and mischievous as always.

"Why do I remember things that haven't happened to me... erm, him, yet?" Xander asked, as his memories of his life as Xander lasted until well after the formation of a new council.

A pleasant female voice spoke up from nowhere, "On the easy difficulty setting the character will recall one full play-through of the game on the nightmare difficulty setting to make things easier."

"Who said that?" Xander asked, looking around for a hidden speaker.

"On the easy difficulty setting the help manual is verbally activated," the voice replied.

"That's handy," Xander said. He took a few deep breaths and relaxed. He could make things better this time. He could keep his friends alive and uncorrupted!

"Unpause," Xander said. As the world regained color and motion he placed the top hat on Willow's head. "It feels like a day for hats," Xander said, smiling at the pair.

Jesse reached over and stole a grey fedora off Xander's head. "Couldn't agree more, bro."

Willow removed the top hat, blushing, and fiddled with it, unexpectedly dropping a rabbit out of it.

The three teens stared at the rabbit as it shook itself and hopped away.

"That was not in it a second ago!" Willow exclaimed, examining the hat for a hidden compartment.

The bell rang and the three quickly crossed the street to attend classes before they ended up late for school. Xander found the school was a lot easier this time around and not just because he'd gone through it all before. Without that little voice in his head telling him he wasn't smart enough to be in this class and distracting him with thoughts on how he was going to fail, it was easy to breeze through the material, take notes, and participate in class; though his knowledge of actual historical events being influenced by supernatural forces did lead to some interesting arguments with the history teacher as to what and why things had occurred in the past while not mentioning anything about supernatural creatures.

**Lunch**

"You've been studying," Jesse said as the three sat on the grass and broke out their lunches.

"Makes school a whole lot easier and Willow a whole lot happier," Xander said with a smile.

"Hey!" Willow complained, before noting what he'd actually said, since usually they both just teased her about her school addiction. "Yes, it does," she agreed.

"+1 Points to relationship with Willow," a female voice announced, which only Xander noticed.

Jesse reached over and pulled a beanie with a propeller off Xander's head. "Where are you getting these?" he asked, giving the propeller a spin which quickly whirled to life and jerked itself out of his hands, vanishing into the sky.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Xander said earnestly.

"I've pulled a nudie playing card, a poker chip, and a five dollar silver piece out of the hatband of the fedora and I made sure no one had a chance to stick anything in it after the first two times," Jesse said. "I'm leaning towards open minded at the moment."

"A half dozen doves flew out of my locker where I stuck the hat," Willow said. "Plus, that beanie should not have been able to fly off like that."

"Pause," Xander said, causing the world to grey out once more. "Save game, slot 2."

"Gave saved in slot 2," the feminine voice replied.

"Unpause," Xander said.

"Hat," his two friends chorused, pointing at his head.

"I saw that. I'm not crazy, right? You guys would tell me if I went crazy?" Willow asked quickly.

"I saw it," Jesse assured her. "One moment nothing, next moment hat."

Xander took off a large, white cowboy hat. "That happens when I use the pause button."

"You have a universal remote?" Jesse asked, trying to figure it out.

"Figure of speech," Xander replied. "My life has been turned into a video game by some higher power, so I can simply say pause and look through option screens, save game, the usual stuff."

"That sounds crazy, but the hats don't lie," Jesse said.

"Couldn't it just be that you've developed amazing powers and they took that form because it's what you know?" Willow asked hopefully as that didn't require a complete reworking of their reality like what Xander had said would.

"And how does that explain the hats?" Jesse asked.

"It could and probably is," Xander told Willow, seeing how stressed she was getting and was immediately awarded by her letting out a relieved sigh. "And the hats are because I tried to access a cheat menu and used the Konami Code. It awarded me random hats and a bobble head mode toggle."

"I'd say ultimate cosmic power filtered through your brain just took a leap forward," Jesse said. "Because that is so you."

"This is so cool," Willow squealed, thinking of tests she could perform; maybe at her house, with just Xander there...

"+1 relationship points with Willow," a female voice announced.

"That's why school got so easy for you," Jesse said, "you got smarter!"

"No- well, yes," Xander realized. "I made a couple of changes to my character sheet and spent my start up points."

"What did you do?" Willow asked, concerned and not wanting him to change from the person she knew and loved.

"The first thing I did was switch out one flaw for another," Xander explained. "I had major inferiority complex which gave me a penalty to every action roll I made."

Jesse and Willow winced.

"Yeah," Xander said, seeing they understood. "I traded it for a flaw that would come into play in only a few situations and I already had a major negative modifier in those situations that the new flaw doesn't stack with."

"What did you choose?" Willow asked, concerned.

"Well, apparently Californian Teenage Male has a negative seven in willpower versus sexual situations and Major Horndog just raises that to negative nine," Xander admitted.

"That's... a good decision," Willow allowed as she considered the numbers, while a small corner of her brain was factoring that into her behavior around Xander and making happy noises.

"+1 point to relationship with Willow."

"Good choice, bro," Jesse said cheerfully.

Xander laughed as something clicked and he could see one of Jesse's flaws. "You would say that, you already have that flaw."

"Can you see our character sheets?" Jesse asked.

"I can barely see mine, the stats are words rather than numbers, and some sections are just blobs of color only certain things are completely understandable," Xander said. "I had ten character generation points available, so I bought ambidextrous, double jointed, and photographic reflexes."

"+10 relationship points with Willow."

"Dude!" Jesse said in awe, while Willow tried to will herself not to blush and that small section of her brain started annexing a greater portion of her mental resources.

"I know," Xander agreed. "The reflexes cost five points, but the other two were only a point apiece."

"And the rest?" Willow asked.

"I dropped most of them into Dex," Xander explained. "It won't tell me my exact scores, but Dex was listed as low with a description of 'clumsy'. Mine is now average with a description of 'Can walk and chew bubble gum at the same time'."

The two teens laughed.

"Yeah, that's all you," Jesse assured him.

"The final point I dropped into intelligence; which didn't move it out of high average, but did change the description from 'Honors student' to 'With honors student'," Xander explained.

"+15 relationship points with Willow," the female voice announced.

"Can you read my character sheet and do I have any start up points?" Jesse asked eagerly.

"I don't know," Xander said. "I can see some bits when I look at you, like name and I knew the flaw because I have the same, but... huh."

"What?" Willow asked.

"I'm not getting anything more, but I do believe Jesse does have start up points," Xander said.

"Really?" Jesse asked excitedly. "How do I spend them?"

"No idea," Xander admitted.

"You just got your powers," Willow said. "Let's get you some experience using them before we start altering other peoples' stats. I mean, what if you accidentally change Jesse from male to female, or give him an attraction to guys?"

Jesse made a face. "She makes a good point."

"We can work on them tonight when you come over to study with me," Willow told Xander, scooting closer to him.

"Willpower roll failed," the female voice announced as Xander unconsciously put his arm around Willow who smiled broadly. "+1 Relationship points with Willow."

"So what character class are you?" Jesse asked.

"Sidekick," Xander replied, not noticing Willow leaning in to him.

"Does that mean there is a hero somewhere? Am I the hero?" Jesse asked hopefully.

"None of us are heroes, bro," Xander said. "Not as far as I know anyway. Ask me again next week."

"Will do," Jesse agreed cheerfully just as the bell rang.

**Typing by: Ordieth**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hero System 2.0 Beta**

Xander was a lot more attentive in class, giving him another three points in 'relationship with Willow' by the time school ended. As the final bell for the day rang he said, "Pause."

"Save game, slot three," Xander said, once the world around him turned grey.

"Game saved in slot three," a feminine voice announced.

"Can I spend other peoples' character points for them?" Xander asked.

"Party members assign their own points while in party," the feminine voice replied.

"I can form a party?" Xander asked, surprised.

"Player can add party members by saying 'add party member' followed by the new party member's name."

"Add party member Willow Rosenberg," Xander ordered.

"New party member Willow Rosenberg added," the voice announced.

Willow's grayed out form suddenly gained color. "What?" she asked, trying to look everywhere at once.

"Welcome to the save screen," Xander told her, glad to have a friend with him.

"Xander, what's going on?" Willow asked wide-eyed.

"I added you to my party so you could spend your character points," Xander told her.

"Really?" she asked excitedly before she got a far off look in her eye. "I see," she said and started going through menus rapidly, physically manipulating them by hand like she'd been doing it forever. "Intellectual arrogance and shyness?" Willow muttered, the flaws suddenly becoming obvious in Xander's scan. Much to Xander's surprise, she bought the same traits and flaws he had, leaving her a few points ahead of where he'd been on doing the same. "Strength, dexterity, charisma," she muttered as she examined her stats, causing them to appear in Xander's scan.

"Your dex is good and your charisma is going to be more effective with the removal of flaws and buffing your physical stats," he pointed out.

"Good point," Willow agreed. "OK, silver tongue restricted to Xander for one point, and I'll split the rest between strength and constitution," she said, her form filling out and straining her coverall slightly.

"+5 relationship with Xander," the feminine voice announced.

"Silver tongue that only works on me?" Xander asked, giving her a confused look.

"Resolve face two point oh," Willow told him. "I'll be able to talk you into doing homework and studying with me so much easier."

"Fast talk success," the feminine voice announced.

Xander chuckled. "I can see how that could be useful."

"Erm... I'm going to need some help, if you don't mind," she said shyly.

"Yeah?" Xander asked.

"I need you to go shopping with me," she admitted, laying a hand on his arm. "I need new clothes now and none of my bras are going to fit." She arched her back a little and thrust her chest out, drawing Xander's eyes.

"Willpower roll failed, fast talk success," the feminine voice announced.

"I'd love to," Xander told her, causing her to smile broadly.

"+5 relationship with Xander/Willow," the feminine voice chorused with herself.

"Should we bring in Jesse?" Xander asked.

"Let's get some experience with it before bringing him in," Willow suggested. "We can experiment a lot and then help him get the most from it."

"Fast talk success," the female voice announced.

Xander rolled his eyes. "Disable notification of Willow's silver tongue," Xander said.

"Specific notification disabled," the female voice said.

"It'd drive us nuts with announcements every time you made a suggestion, otherwise," Xander explained.

"+1 relationship with Willow," the voice announced.

Xander raised an eyebrow at willow.

"You trust me," Willow replied.

Xander nodded. "Back to reality?"

"Back to reality," Willow agreed.

"Unpause," Xander ordered, causing the world to regain color and motion.

They quickly gathered up their books and headed for their lockers.

"Watch it, plebe," Harmony sneered, trying to push herself in front of Willow.

Willow easily pushed her back, not losing a step. "Like you can even spell plebe," she replied.

"-5 relationship points with Harmony, +5 relationship points with Xander, +25 relationship points with Cordelia," the game announced.

"Twenty five?" Xander asked Willow.

"Five?" Willow asked Xander.

"I like and approve of you standing up for yourself," Xander told her.

"I'm guessing Cordelia feels the same way and despises weakness," Willow said.

"+1 perception," the game noted.

"That would be a yes," Xander said.

"+1 perception," the game added.

"Hats," Jesse told them as he caught up with them in the hall.

Xander reached up and pulled a fool's cap off his head, while Willow had a red, glitter covered derby. Shrugging, they handed them off to a passing drama student.

"Free props," Xander told him.

"+1 reputation with drama club," the game announced.

"Thanks, dudes," he replied cheerfully.

"The cheerleaders are going to be practicing in the gym, so I'm going to go show some school spirit and cheer them on," Jesse said. "Catch you guys later."

"Have fun," Xander told him while Willow rolled her eyes.

"So what's the plan?" Xander asked as they reached their lockers and started putting things away.

"Explore your new power and see what we can munchkin," Willow replied. "First, we abuse photographic reflexes."

"Bad lip synched, martial arts movies?" Xander asked.

"Cheesy, how-to-be-a-martial-artist videos," Willow told him. "Bad lip synched, martial arts movies are probably at least fifty percent special effects and tricks rather than real moves."

"Might be worth learning some of those tricks," Xander pointed out. "Hey, can we also pick up the how-to videos on sleight of hand and magic tricks?"

"As long as we can grab one on dancing," Willow agreed.

"Deal," Xander agreed.

"Let me drop some books off in the library," Willow said, taking a half dozen books out of her locker before slamming it shut.

"OK," Xander said.

As they entered the library, Willow stopped short and Xander ran into her. "Wills?" he asked before noticing she was staring at the new school librarian.

"Can I help you?" asked Rupert Giles, his British accent very out of place in a southern California high school.

"You have a title," Willow said, like she was accusing him of something.

"I beg your pardon," Giles said, inflection turning it into a question.

"Your title is trainer," Willow said slowly as she went through various options in her head.

"Pause," Xander said, greying the world around them. "What are you doing?"

"He's the trainer," Willow said excitedly. "This means we can get skill upgrades from him!"

"He's the trainer for the hero, not a trainer for everyone," Xander told her.

"You know about him?" Willow asked.

Xander nodded. "I'm the sidekick. I know who the trainer and love interest is going to be."

"So we can't get him to train us?" Willow asked.

"We can try," Xander said as he considered it. Giles did have quite a bit of skill, even if he wasn't physically able to go toe-to-toe with demons as he had in his misspent youth.

"Unpause," Willow said.

Giles jumped back as the world regained color.

"I have a very unusual ability that lets me know a bit about the world around me and sometimes even future events," Xander quickly told Giles. "I'm currently sharing that with Willow and it says you are a trainer, meaning you have skills and abilities we can learn and that in the near future you will be training a hero."

"Fast talk success."

"I'm listening," Giles said when Xander paused to catch his breath.

"I also have a title, but it's not trainer, it's sidekick, meaning that I'll be helping out regardless of anyone's wishes on the matter, even if it's just providing alibis and helping shelve books and police the area after a battle," Xander explained. "The hero isn't due to arrive for a couple of months, according to what I can see, and you need experience teaching as much as we need to learn the skills you have. It's a win-win situation."

"Fast talk failure."

"I'll ... make some inquiries and get back to you on that idea," Giles replied.

Xander nodded, a bit disappointed but not all that surprised. Giles would come around in the end and they already had plans for this weekend anyway.

Willow sighed, looking very disappointed, and handed the stack of books she was carrying to Giles.

"Patience," Xander told her. "He didn't say no, and in his position he'd be a fool not to make sure we check out."

"Check out for what?" Willow asked.

"Sunnydale natives," Xander told her. "He has to make sure we are who we say we are. Besides, we already have plans for the weekend, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Willow said brightly, instantly cheering up.

"If I may ask," Giles said, waiting for Xander to nod before he continued, "where did those hats come from?"

Willow and Xander reached up and pulled a pair of matching black bowler hats off their heads.

"I tried to use a cheat code on the universe, but instead of being penalized it started giving me hats," Xander said with a shrug.

"I see," Giles said slowly.

"I'll explain in more detail once you're convinced we are who we say we are," Xander replied. "See you Monday."

"See you Monday," Giles agreed as the pair left, already planning on making some calls.

**Typing by: Ordieth**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hero System 3.0**

Willow had suggested flexibility tests, and lacking any shyness, had brought out some tiny pieces of spandex for them to wear. She had easily convinced Xander it was a good idea, needless to say they both failed a number of willpower checks over the next couple of hours.

"I just gained another point of dexterity," Xander noted as the two naked and sweaty teens lay exhausted on the floor of her room.

"Me too," Willow agreed, very happy with how things had turned out, though the new additions to her skill list made her blush a bit.

"We have to buy off horndog," he decided.

"You didn't like..." her voice trailed off worriedly.

Xander leaned over and kissed her. "Loved it," he assured her, "but we need to do more than just have sex every time we are alone together. We had plans we never got to and horndog doesn't discriminate, meaning we'll end up sleeping with a lot of people we shouldn't."

**"Wisdom +1"**

"Good point," Willow agreed. "So was this a onetime thing?"

"I'd like it to be a regular thing," Xander said honestly and then added, "and by that I mean us not sex, though I like the sex. Can we be an us?"

"Yes," Willow said happily.

**"Title Boyfriend/Girlfriend awarded."**

"Heh," Xander laughed, "it gives me silver tongue, limited to you and pluses in self-control."

"You're my boyfriend," Willow said in wonder, suddenly catching her second wind.

**One hour, several stat points, and over sixteen skill points later...**

"I just went up a level," Xander said feeling like a wet noodle.

"Me too," Willow agreed.

"I have a dehydrated and hungry status ailment," Xander noted.

"Shower, food, and water," Willow agreed.

"And then... I think we should work on another level and use those points to buy down Major horn dog," Xander said.

"Not buy off?" Willow asked surprised.

"If we buy it down to minor, the boy-girl friend title willpower bonus would negate the negatives towards anyone but each other," Xander said, "And I kinda like..."

"Me too," Willow agreed.

"Plus it'll help me grind a couple of skills that I feel could use some improvement," he told her with a grin.

**The next day**

"Thank you gamer physics," Xander said as he woke up refreshed and healed, removing several status ailments related to muscle strain and chaffing.

"Five levels," Willow said in wonder. "We fucked our way through five levels!"

"Quick, buy down horndog," Xander ordered, doing so himself.

"Done," Willow agreed, "Also getting rid of resolve face two point oh as it comes with the title."

"What should we put our points in?" Xander asked, knowing willow was better at figuring out percentages and how to play the system in most things.

"With the level we're at bringing up everything is usually a good idea. Physically we're ahead of the rest of our stats, so mental stats are probably best, but considering we are getting mental stats just doing regular things I'm thinking luck and charisma are our best bets right now," Willow said.

**"Wisdom +1"**

"Luck is a definite," Xander agreed, "But why charisma?"

"Because while in a game it may be a dump stat, in reality it governs how we interact with people and how well we can get them to listen to us," Willow explained. "Not to mention it also seems to denote good nature, and mental and emotional stability. Paladins and Bards require a lot of charisma and things like easily angered and odious personal habits are mentioned as being part of a low charisma score."

**"Intelligence +1"**

"Did you just gain a point of intelligence from listening to me?" Willow asked.

"Yep," Xander replied with a grin. "I'm bringing my luck and charisma up to... Lucky in love, which fits, and King of the Cretins, which means a little below average on both."

"I didn't know those two scores were that low," Willow said surprised.

"I've always been unlucky and I was ignoring charisma because I lacked a beautiful intelligent girlfriend to explain things to me," Xander told her.

**"Flattery +1"**

"I have a flattery skill?" Xander asked in surprise while Willow giggled.

"With a higher charisma comes more social options," Willow told him.

"Cool," Xander said as he examined his sheet and saw many new social skills, even if they were a bit on the low side. "I believe we had planned on gaining skills using our photographic reflexes, before we got distracted."

"I say we grab breakfast and then Jesse and see what we can do," Willow said.

"I thought we were going to experiment first?" Xander asked.

"That was just an excuse," Willow admitted. "I wanted to get you alone and seduce you, so I could rub your face in the fact that I was a girl, datable, and in love with you."

"I enjoyed that plan," Xander assured her. "Feel free to make more plans like that and I will happily fall for them."

Willow giggled and they had a quick breakfast before going over to get Jesse.

"Dude, nice crowns," Jesse said when he answered the door.

"Didn't notice," Xander admitted as he looked and saw Willow was wearing a crown, a shiny thing covered in jewels with a red velvet interior.

"Random shoes would have been more fun," Willow told him.

"Just be glad it's not random outfits," Jesse said. "Let me guess, you guys got it working?" he asked hopefully.

"Working?" Xander asked.

"For other people," he explained.

"Pause," Xander said causing the world to grey out around himself and Willow. "Save game, slot four."

**"Game saved slot four"**

"You can save game," Willow whispered wide eyed.

"Add party member, Jesse McNally," Xander ordered.

"Party member, Jesse McNally added."

Jesse suddenly gained color. "Whoa!" he exclaimed spinning around.

"Welcome to wonderland," Xander told him.

"Well, you are the mad hatter," Jesse fired back.

**"Quippage +1"**

The three burst out laughing.

"OK, What do I do?" Jesse asked eagerly.

"Buy perks," Xander told him. "Specifically, double jointed, ambidextrous, and photographic reflexes."

Jesse nodded and closed his eyes. "Done," he said after a couple of seconds had passed. "Now what?"

"Now look on your sheet and tell me what merits and flaws you have," Willow said.

"Horndog, Major," he said proudly. "Asthmatic, which 'ouch!' really screws me over in several ways and comes into play a lot because of my low constitution score."

"Anything else?" Xander asked.

"Nothing sticks out," Jesse said. "Should I take some flaws and dump asthmatic?"

Willow shook her head. "Raise con so you can ignore it. Once you have a few more levels you can buy it off."

Jesse nodded and closed his eyes and while the two watched, their lanky friend's form filled out. "Whoa!"

"Hell yeah 'whoa'," Xander agreed with a grin.

"You two are dating," Jesse said in surprise as he spied their titles. "Did she finally get tired of waiting for you to notice she was a girl and use chloroform on you?"

"It was a close thing," Willow admitted. "Remember when you got me to buy those spandex things and said he'd be putty in my hands if I wore it? You were right."

"What's con at now?" Xander asked.

"Rock and Rollin' right along," Jesse read aloud. "It's average, but it was low before."

"We're planning to rent some video tapes on physical skills so we can copy them," Xander replied. "What we really need is personal trainers, but that costs some serious bucks."

"How can we make some money?" Jesse asked, racking his brain.

**"Money can be obtained through completing quests, running through dungeons, or selling unneeded items."**

The three froze.

"Quests?" Jesse asked.

**"Quests currently available for Jesse are:**

**1. Mow lawn. Reward $20, and +3 relationship with father.**

**2. Wash car. Reward $10, and +2 relationship with father.**

**3. Clean room. Reward A1 treasure, random baked goods, and +5 relationship with mother."**

"Dungeons?" Jesse asked.

**"Dungeons currently available for Jesse are:**

**1. Wrecking Yard.**

**2. Sunnydale High Basement.**

**3. Back Alley."**

"If not for my high charisma I'd freak out about now," Willow said.

"This is awesome!" Jesse cheered.

"Unpause," Xander said.

"Slytherin!" the sorting hat on Jesse's head called out.

**Typing by: Stephenopolos**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hero System 4.0**

"The sorting hat?" Willow asked, surprised.

"Slytherin?" Xander asked with a grin.

"He wants to turn the entire cheer squad into his own personal harem," the sorting hat replied. "That's one hell of an ambition."

"Horndog," Jesse said as if that explained everything, and it in fact did.

Xander laughed and Willow rolled her eyes.

"You agree to wear me while doing it and I'll do my utmost to help you," the sorting hat told Jesse.

"What help could you give me?" Jesse asked.

"Kid, I've been worn by some of the greatest heads in the wizarding world and I know all their secrets," the hat promised.

"Aren't you charmed to protect those secrets?" Willow asked.

"That would be something an intelligent wizard or witch would do if they even had a smidgen of common sense," the hat agreed.

"In other words, no he isn't," Xander said with a chuckle.

"You have a deal," Jesse said, "but you're going to have to figure out a way to look inconspicuous, 'cause you kinda stand out."

The sorting hat morphed into a modest gold circlet with several emeralds and sapphires decorating it. "Better?" it mentally projected to the trio.

Jesse opened his mouth, closed it, and examined himself in the hallway mirror. "I could make this work," he decided.

"Wait!" Willow exclaimed as a thought hit her. "Do you have the Sword of Gryffindor?!"

"Of course," the hat said as it morphed back into its normal form. "All it takes is a true Gryffindor reaching in to pull it out. Want to see if one of you two fit?"

"Oh yeah," Xander agreed, accepting the hat from Jesse, taking off his crown, and putting the hat on.

"Hufflepuff!" the hat announced.

"Really?" Willow asked. "I've seen Xander do really brave things."

"Definitely," Jesse agreed.

Xander took off the hat and offered it to Willow. "Yeah, but it was always to help a friend."

"The kid knows his own mind," the hat agreed.

Willow took off her crown and put the hat on.

"Ravenclaw," the four of them chorused.

"Yeah, definitely a Ravenclaw mind there," the hat said as he was placed back on Jesse's head, resuming circlet form.

"Maybe the hero can draw it out," Willow offered.

Xander nodded. "Yeah, that fits."

"Back to money matters," Jesse said.

"OK, we can sell things, but we don't really have a whole lot to sell," Xander said. "Personally, I think watching Jesse do chores would be entertaining-"

"Thanks bro," Jesse interrupted him with a snort, making Willow giggle.

"-but really, we need the money to gain skills so we can level up. So I'm thinking dungeon."

"High School basement?" Willow asked.

"Hell no!" Xander and the sorting hat exclaimed.

"That's the most dangerous of the three," Xander swore. "Junkyard is the easiest."

"Junkyard it is then," Willow said. "We should probably dress in clothes we don't mind getting dirty."

"Thrift store," Jesse suggested. "We can get something disposable cheaply."

"+1 wisdom."

"Looks like the game agrees," Xander said. "Thrift store it is."

"Let me tell the 'rents and we're gone," Jesse said.

**An hour later...**

"I was right. That was entertaining," Xander said cheerfully before biting into a peanut butter cookie.

"Wish I'd known they were mandatory quests," Jesse said. "Still got thirty bucks, plus five points with parents, free cookies, and..."

"A book on how to create a house elf," Willow said as she finished translating the mixture of Latin and Yiddish that made up the title.

"And suddenly I'm very happy I did those quests," Jesse said, perking up. "How hard is it?"

"No idea yet," Willow said. "This is probably going to be a major quest to get it done."

"Yeah, but think of never having to clean your room again," Jesse said.

"I'm right there with you," Xander told him.

Willow rolled her eyes. "You could just pick up after yourselves."

"Or cook," Jesse added.

"Fast talk success."

"But it would be a fun group project," Willow admitted.

Xander held out his hand and Willow handed him the large, leather bound tome which immediately vanished.

"What the fuck?!" Willow exclaimed in surprise, causing the two teens to stare at her. Willow blushed. "Sorry."

Xander and Jesse looked at each other and burst out laughing. When they finally stopped, Xander said, "I figured out how to put things into inventory."

"How?" Willow asked eagerly, seeing the ability to carry an entire library of books within her grasp.

"Just hold an item, think inventory, and mentally think about putting it in there," Xander explained.

The book suddenly appeared in Willow's hands and vanished a second later. "We have a group inventory," Willow said happily.

"Saves paying for things," Jesse said cheerfully.

"Jesse!" Willow complained.

"What?" he asked. "I'm just saying, a little five finger discount could stretch our money out a bit more. I'm not saying we rob little old ladies, but soulless corporations have always been fair game."

"Fast talk... failure."

"We are going to a thrift store, not a major corporation, and no stealing unless it's ... I don't know, life or death!" Willow ordered him, shaking a finger in his face.

Jesse looked down. "Agreed. I'm just saying the option is available, that's all."

"Willpower roll... failure."

Xander kissed Willow thoroughly enough to make her forget she was mad at Jesse. "What was that for?" she asked with a dazed look and a small smile on her face.

"You just looked so cute, I had to kiss you," Xander replied, taking her hand and getting them all walking again.

"Thrift store," Jesse announced as they rounded the corner and it came in sight.

"Remember, it can be ugly as all heck, because it's disposable," Xander said, not wanting to spend all day picking out clothes.

"I know," Jesse assured him. "We can change in the dungeon so no one else sees them."

"Let's see what they have," Willow said, only to freeze as they entered the store seeing things she had never noticed before.

"I'm not hallucinating, am I?" Jesse asked.

"I don't think so," Xander said. "Being gamers, we're seeing things we'd normally overlook."

"+1 perception."

"I'm seeing an entire leather clothing section in a thrift store, some of which has been altered to fit some mighty strange bodies," Jesse said.

"+1 perception."

"You said we'd be getting a hero," Willow said, "but we never questioned why we'd need one."

"+1 wisdom."

"I'll tell you when we have some privacy," Xander promised. "For now, let's get our shopping done."

The other two agreed and the trio immediately headed for the section of the store they'd never seen before. The prices were higher than they could afford at the moment, but each item toggled a pop-up telling them armor values and bonuses.

"Scan +1."

"Those decorative swords aren't," Jesse pointed out as they moved deeper into the new section.

"Blessed for additional damage versus undead or demonic creatures," Willow noted. "Should I be worried? Because I am."

"Right there with you," Jesse agreed.

"Hello. Can I help you?" asked an older woman wearing a heavy dress that could almost be considered a robe as she popped up out of nowhere, scaring the three teens.

"Ahem," Xander cleared his throat and tried to pretend the three of them hadn't just jumped in fright. "We need armor and weapons, but are kind of on a budget," Xander admitted.

Her eyes darted to their headgear. "While wearing crowns?"

"We won the crowns," Willow admitted, thinking of how they'd randomly appeared.

"May I?" she asked.

Willow took off her crown and handed it to her. The old woman flicked the crown and listened to it ring before examining the jewels. "24 karat and some pretty large gems, if not exactly precious. How about we go for trade in value?"

**Half an hour later**

"I can now play an extra in the next Road Warrior sequel," Willow said, amused.

"And why shovels?" Jesse asked.

"Studded leather was the best armor we could afford that would blend in if worn in public," Xander said, "and we won't accidentally kill each other with shovels like we would with swords."

"And if we do, it'll come in handy to hide the body," Jesse said with a grin.

"Plus, you get a lot fewer calls to the police for carrying one," Willow added.

"To the wrecking yard!" Xander proclaimed.

**Typing by: Ordieth**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hero System 5.0**

"We're here," Jesse said unnecessarily as the three teens stared at the Wrecking Yard.

The Sunnydale Wrecking Yard was acres of old rusty stacks of cars and heaps of parts scattered over 20 acres of desert. The three didn't know who owned it and the only person that anyone knew worked there was the tow truck driver, who could be seen towing off abandoned and damaged vehicles like a predator culling a herd of antelope of the sick and injured.

The tow truck driver's name tag read Earl and they didn't know anyone who had actually spoken to him. He simply drug off vehicles into the depths of the yard where they were never seen again.

"Pause," Xander said, causing the world to grey out around them.

"Save Game, slot four," Xander ordered.

"Game saved slot four."

"Now how do we-" Jesse said, suddenly becoming naked. "Equip!" he blurted out and was suddenly dressed in worn black leather clothing with silver studs and spikes.

Xander laughed and Willow flushed. "Inventory," Xander said, opening his inventory screen. Choosing 'Poser Leather Outfit' he dropped it on his character sheet, sending what he was wearing into his inventory.

"How'd you do that?" Willow asked, not wanting to end up naked like Jesse had before equipping his set of Poser Leathers.

"Just drag and drop and it automatically sends what you were wearing into inventory," Xander explained.

"Why didn't you tell me that?" Jesse asked.

"And miss the chance to see you naked?" Xander joked.

"+1 Relationship with Jesse."

"I was joking," Xander told him, "I didn't know it would work until I tried it out."

"I appreciate the comment anyway," Jesse replied with a grin, turning to examine the yard.

Xander looked over at Willow and her clothes switched with her Poser Leathers while he watched. She smirked at him playfully and was suddenly naked for a moment before wearing her leathers once more.

"Yes, a very useful piece of information," she agreed.

"Ready for our first Dungeon Crawl?" Jesse asked, turning back around.

"Armed and armored," Xander agreed.

"Okay, unpause," Jesse ordered, the world around them flooding with color and sound once more. "Dungeon," Jesse said, bringing up a menu with a difficulty rating. "Easy," Jesse chose and the three were suddenly inside the front gate of the Wrecking Yard, which looked even larger and more foreboding than it had a minute ago. "Now what?" he asked.

"The Sunnydale Wrecking Yard is the best place for beginning characters to level up as the Easy level was designed for Characters level 1-7. Simply kill the attacking waves of rodents using whatever weapons and combat skills you've acquired. Note: to loot the corpse once you are finished, simply touch the corpse either by hand or with weapon and say Loot. Tip: try touching them with a knife and saying loot for best effect and to ensure you don't miss anything."

"Too long, did not read," Willow said, bursting out laughing when the two boys stared at her in shock. "Joking, but that's the biggest pop-up yet; it almost counts as a wall of text."

The guys laughed.

"What do you think they meant by wave of rodents?" Jesse asked just before the sky darkened and they could hear a lot of high pitched squeaking.

"Uh oh," Willow said as she saw dozens of sets of glowing red eyes glaring hatefully from the shadows.

Suddenly dozens of giant black and grey rats the size of small dogs rushed out of the darkness to attack them.

"Skill: Kick created!"

A rat went flying as Willow booted giant rodents like they were kickballs while screeching.

"Skill: Kick copied!"

Several rats went flying as the boys yelled and put the boots to any rodent that came near them.

"Kick +1," the game announced and then repeated over a dozen times as the three teens forgot about the shovels they were carrying and used their feet to good effect.

Jesse landed on a particularly large rat with both boots, killing it.

"Skill: Stomp created!"

"Stomp +1," the game announced and repeated itself frequently, occasionally alternating with Kick+1 until the ground was littered with dead rats and all was silent.

"Level +1"

"I leveled up!" Jesse said excitedly. "What should I spend my points on?"

"Bring up physical stats to average then concentrate on luck and charisma," Willow replied.

"I'll need a lot of charisma for what I have planned," Jesse agreed cheerfully and spent his points, his body filling out as he gained in strength and constitution.

Xander pulled out a pocket knife and touched the blade to a rat. "Loot," he said causing the rat to vanish and 1 rat skin-poor, 3 rat steaks-poor, 1 rat tail-ingredient and 2 silver to appear in inventory.

"Skill: Skinning Created!"

"Skill: Butchering Created!"

Willow laughed and Jesse shook his head. "I'm almost afraid to ask what happens when we loot people."

"Loot people?" Willow asked, as Xander continued looting rats.

"+1 Skinning, +1 Butchering"

"Not real people, gaming mobs," Jesse assured her.

"Anyone else want to learn this?" Xander asked.

"Sure," Willow agreed as Jesse pulled out a pocket knife and they joined Xander in making poor quality pelts and steaks, while looting the corpses.

By the time they'd finished they had well over a hundred poor quality rat steaks, a dozen good ones, and two excellent ones. Pelts were numbered at thirty two poor quality, three good ones, and one excellent one. They had no idea what they were going to do with them, but Jesse swore he was going to cook the excellent rat steak just to see what it was like.

They'd also received 72 silver pieces, 18 copper, and a finger with a ring on it that read as a quest item.

"We really should have used the shovels," Jesse said.

"Sorry, they looked like chihuahuas and I panicked," Willow apologized.

"It's fine," Xander told her, "we got some skills out of it, but he's right next wave we use the shovels."

"Next wave?" Jesse asked and red eyes were glaring at them from the shadows once more.

**Four hours later… **

"I say we dump all the poor quality pelts and steaks," Willow suggested, after asking what quality meant in regards to steaks and finding poor quality meant a 15% chance in causing ailment in the eater.

Xander gestured and a large pile of rat steaks and pelts appeared off to the side. "Jesse, you're looking a bit low on HP there."

"I got two level ups to use; dropping a point in Con completely refills your current HP," Jesse said cheerfully.

"+1 Wisdom"

"Haven't been in a position to notice that before," Willow said, blushing hotly as she recalled how she and Xander had gained levels.

"Our HP is still pretty good but we should drop a point in it when we level too," Xander said, figuring they were close to leveling since Jesse had just reached 4th.

"I say we find out what the quest item is," Willow said.

"What is the quest item?" Jesse asked, going for the easy route of using the help file.

"Quest items may be found in dungeons at any time while on easy mode, even when not actively pursuing a quest. Return or use quest item as needed to complete quests and attain rewards."

"Easy mode?" Willow asked Xander.

"I was given a choice of how I wanted to play this life and I chose easy," Xander replied.

"Good call," Jesse said cheerfully before pulling the finger from their inventory and examining it. "Human finger with a class ring," he announced.

"Quest: My name is Earl: Earl has lost a finger to one of the rats in the Wrecking Yard. Recover the finger and return it to Earl to face a mini boss and claim the reward. Reward for completion of quest: free 24 hour access to wrecking yard and one shaggin' wagon. Warning: Quest Rank exceeds current level."

"Holy shit dude!" Jesse said. "We are so doing this."

"What about the warning?" Willow asked.

"Pause," Jesse said turning the world grey. "Save game, slot five."

"Game saved slot five."

"Okay, lets give it a shot," Xander said.

"Unpause!" Jesse said excitedly, leading them to the front of the Wrecking Yard, where he spotted Earl with his left hand bandaged, lowering the front end of a van painted to look like the Mystery Machine off the tow truck. "Here," Jesse said, handing the large bald man his finger.

Earl looked surprised for a moment before unwrapping his left hand and duct taping the missing finger back in place. Reaching into his shirt pocket he pulled out a set of keys and tossed them to Jesse.

As Jesse caught the keys, the sky darkened and the ground quaked as an enormous brown and black three headed great Dane rounded a stack of cars. It was 10' high at the shoulder and foaming at all three mouths.

"Holy-" Xander began.

"Fucking-" Jesse continued.

"Shit!" Willow finished.

And in a voice like thunder it spoke, "Rerare rour ranus!"

**Typing by: Godogma (again, I'm not sure how he conned me into this; I got carpal tunnel the last time…) **


	6. Chapter 6

**Hero System 6.0**

It was a slaughter. They didn't last five seconds as it attacked them, the left head sending Jesse flying in a single strike, while the right paw crushed Willow, reducing her to a pile of shattered bone and meat, just before the middle head's mouth engulfed Xander and he felt its teeth close around him like a belt and then... everything went black.

Xander found himself standing on a black plane with three screens in front of him. To the left was a screen with red lettering in Japanese that read 'Ninja Nookie' with Start Game written under it. In front of him was 'Hellmouth High' written in blue with five save slots shown under Start Game. To the right was a screen in green reading 'Wizarding World' with Start Game right below it.

He took a couple of deep breaths and considered what to do. He could restart Hellmouth High from his last save point and not allow him and his friends to face a cross between Cerberus and Scooby Doo and everything would be fine... but he could feel those teeth closing in on him and see his friends dying...

Xander shuddered. He needed a bit of a break before facing that. He needed time and possibly some therapy.

Turning to the Wizarding World game, he set the game as he had Hellmouth High and started paging through avatars. He was slightly tempted to play as Nymphadora Tonks just so he could play with his, or rather her, own breasts. Shaking off the urge, he moved on and found there were avatars for not only a plethora of male characters but also for a couple of house elves, goblins and even ... a car?

Shaking his head, Xander paged through the male characters and took a look at Harry Potter. He considered it for half a second before snickering and looking for a character whose life didn't suck a dead donkey's dick.

He settled on Neville after a moment's thought. He had an overbearing grandmother, but was rich and not slated for death at the hands of a mad lich and his followers. He was close enough to the action to watch it without getting involved.

Xander looked around the featureless plane, wondering why he thought he'd heard someone snicker.

He chose the avatar and clutched his head as Neville Longbottom, all eleven years of him, crashed into his hippocampus.

Neville waited a couple of seconds for the pounding in his head to subside before saying, "Start game."

"Are you listening?" the older woman asked.

"Yes, Gran," he replied automatically, sitting up a little straighter and making an effort to listen as she told him who was going to be in his year and their social position.

"Did you get all that?" she asked once she'd finished.

Neville nodded and listed off everyone in his year, what houses they were going to be in, and something about their personality and views. After that, he finished the last few bites of his steak. "May I be excused?" he asked politely. "I wish to look over my books so I'm familiar with the material before classes begin."

Gran gave him a gracious nod and waited for him to leave before she and his uncle Algie burst out in laughter.

Augusta wiped tears from her eyes. "Malfoy, Slytherin; a pretentious little shit and inbred fucktard!"

"I liked his take on Susan Bones. Hufflepuff, great rack in a few years, nice girl but follows the crowd too much," Uncle Algie said. "He's finally coming out of his shell!"

"How does he know about all the muggleborn?" she asked.

"When I took him shopping for a pet, he got 'lost' at least half a dozen times," Algie said with a grin.

"Searching out the muggleborn as they were escorted around?" Augusta guessed.

"Gathering information and making contacts," Algie told his sister. "Hear the way he spoke of Hermione Granger?"

"I did," she agreed with a smirk. "Just like his father."

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

Neville sighed in relief when he finally reached his room. "Pause," he said, causing the world to grey out around him. "Character sheet."

He looked over it and didn't know whether to smile or frown. He'd kept all but the physical stats from being Xander Harris. He even had the merits and flaws he'd purchased!

Neville smiled and then groaned as he saw the merits and flaws Neville came with. 'Minor inferiority complex' would have to be bought off. 'Slightly overweight' he could exercise to remove. And finally 'late bloomer'... -2 to all physical stats for a +6 bonus following puberty was actually a pretty good deal.

His physical stats were pretty poor, as expected, and his luck was pathetic; however he now had a mana stat and an energy control stat as well.

He spent four points buying off the minor inferiority complex, leaving him with six points to play with. He examined the merits and flaws menus to see what was available for character generation.

There were quite a few of both available and some quite bizarre ones as well. In the end, he took 'Mind of Magic' as it gave him a couple of rare magic skills to start with that promised to be really useful as he raised in levels, and it could be upgraded to increase their utility for just two more points.

The full six points version was impressive and he was tempted to take some flaws to go for the full ten point version that... "You know what? Fuck it!" He increased horndog back to 'major' status and took the full ten point version. The bonuses it gave to willpower would negate the minuses he received for the change from minor to major anyway.

"Skill occlumency learned, skill legilimency learned. +10 occlumency, +10 legilimency, +7 energy control, +5 mana, +5 will saves, +2 int, +3 wis."

Neville grinned as he saw an entire sheet of greyed out skills that required certain conditions be met in order to activate. Conditions he would surely meet as he gained levels. He'd just bought the magical equivalent of Charles Xavier's powers. He'd have to work for them, but they were all there.

"Pause," Neville said, causing the world to grey out. "Save game, slot 1."

"Game saved in slot 1."

"Unpause," he ordered and frowned as he took a wet and sticky watermelon off his head. It was the kind of thing a drunk college student would wear as a hat. 'Note to self, increase luck.'

He disposed of the watermelon hat and rinsed off his head before returning to check out his school supplies. "Poorly matched wand, -7 energy control," he muttered, but smiled as he realized that since it was his father's wand it wouldn't have the monitoring spell to watch for underage magic use that Ollivander was required by the Ministry to cast on every new wand he sold.

Picking up his charms book, he read the first spell.

"Lumos learned. Level 0, 86 percent chance of spell failure."

Neville grinned. Thanks to his photographic reflexes, casting was as easy as pie; only requiring him to train his magic, which made his Mind of Magic merit even more valuable.

In two hours he'd raised three levels and regained his casting ability in first year spells; gained three points in control, and two points in both endurance and dexterity.

He had ten points to spend, so he dumped them all into his shitty luck score, bringing it up from 'Murphy is a close friend', to 'Win some, lose a little more than you win'.

Satisfied with his progress, he went to bed. Tomorrow was a big day.

**Typing by: Ordieth.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hero System 7.0**

Neville awoke fully aware and refreshed, the shock and horror he'd felt as Xander, having watched his friends die before dying himself, was completely gone.

"Pause," he said, causing the world to grey out. "Save game, slot two."

"Game saved, slot two."

"Exit," Neville ordered and found himself standing on a familiar featureless black plane facing three sets of colored words.

"Start game," Neville ordered, facing the Hellmouth High start screen.

"Yoink!" Xander said as the save game loaded and he stuffed the keys in his inventory.

"Dude, what gives?!" Jesse asked.

"We tried, we died, I reloaded," Xander said, pulling Willow into a hug and burying his face in her hair.

"Seriously?" Jesse asked quietly.

"A three headed dog the size of a semi as a mini-boss," Xander said.

"Ouch," Jesse said.

"Yeah, let's hold off on that for a couple more days," Xander suggested.

"You okay?" Willow asked, staring into his eyes.

"Yeah," Xander promised. "Being the last man standing just freaked me out a bit."

"The save file worked?" Willow asked. "Time actually reversed?"

"Just as advertised," Xander promised.

"Back to the rats," Jesse said. "I'm suddenly very fond of the rats."

"Unpause," Xander said, just before the game went nuts by hitting him with a wall of text, filled with physical skills.

"Holy..." Willow's voice trailed off.

"What the hell?" Jesse asked.

"Um," Xander checked his character sheet and saw he still had mana and energy control as well as his wand in inventory. "I think something glitched."

"So you don't know how to wield an axe or do a round house kick?" Willow asked.

"I know them both," Xander promised. "But these are the skills I'd learn over the next decade." He realized Mind of Magic had allowed him to recover all his purely physical skills.

"Reversing time must have done it," Jesse guessed. "Try not to do that too often."

"Can you teach us?" Willow asked.

"Most of them," Xander said. "Some of them I need higher stats to pull off."

"This is freaky, but a good freaky," Jesse said. "I am really shocked that I'm not shocked."

"I'm keeping you calm and functioning," the sorting hat projected.

"Excellent work," Jesse told it.

"If we hadn't put so many points in charisma, I'd be having a psychotic break right about now," Willow admitted. "In fact, when we level up, my points are going in to charisma and wisdom."

"Wisdom?" Jesse asked.

"A higher wisdom score should help me deal with mental shocks," Willow explained.

"Wisdom +1."

"Yeah, that helped," Willow said, while Xander was still busy closing pop-ups.

"Did that one just say Dirty Sanchez?" Jesse asked.

"I'll be honest with you, in the space of ten years... I develop a lot of bedroom skills," Xander said, barely looking as he closed pop-ups.

"You are going to teach me, right?" Jesse asked.

"You aren't my type, but I'll see what I can do," Xander promised.

"I love to learn," Willow said smugly, glad of the distraction.

"And done," Xander said, finally closing the last pop-up.

"Bug fix has been initiated. Photographic Reflexes now compliments enhanced memory."

"What does that mean?" Jesse asked.

"It means that since I have an enhanced memory, I gain all the skill bonuses from having witnessed skills used as if I'd had photographic reflexes at the time," Xander explained.

"You mentioned next ten years, earlier," Willow pointed out.

"I kinda got a copy of the memories I'd get from playing the game on hard when I chose easy mode," Xander admitted.

"You know the future?!" Jesse exploded. "Dude, hook me up with some winning lottery numbers!"

"Do we get married? Do we have kids?" Willow asked intently.

"Guys! Guys!" Xander yelled, leading them back to the clearing they were killing rats in. "I have the memories of a hard level playthrough, which means no game stuff and a much higher level of difficulty. Jesse got killed early on and Willow and I never even dated. It was a sucky world all around, but I've set the difficulty on this life to easy and we are leveling up. This is not going to be that life."

"I died?" Jesse asked quietly.

"Just like you did before I reloaded the save file," Xander agreed.

Jesse chuckled. "So, as long as it's not during a cut scene I should be fine."

"We never got together?" Willow asked softly.

"Drunken one night stands and kidnapping situations aside, we never had the right timing," Xander told her. "This time I'm not making the mistake of letting you slip through my fingers."

"+1 wisdom."

The three burst out laughing.

"So how'd I die?" Jesse asked. "And why didn't you tell... never mind, I wouldn't have believed it before."

"+1 wisdom."

"I'm not telling you guys the future in any detail until we boost our wisdom and charisma scores so no one freaks out, because a freak out is deserved, believe me," Xander said.

"Suits," Jesse agreed. "One more wave of rats and then break for lunch. I'm a little low on hp."

Red eyes peered at them from the darkness.

"This time, use your shovels," Xander said, adjusting the way he held his shovel; years of experience in wielding weapons of all types - including a fair amount of shovels - allowing him to handle it with a fair amount of skill.

**One wave of rats later...**

"Title awarded: The Shoveler."

"I have over 28 points in shovel based combat," Jesse said in wonder.

"Yeah, you copied most of that skill. I have a 32, but that's because I didn't need to use all of it to deal with rats, even while showing off so you'd get more moves," Xander explained with a smile. "I think the final points are mostly showy moves I made up to look cool."

"The title gives us a fifty percent bonus to all attempts to knock an opponent unconscious and plus five to hand to hand, grappling, tumbling, and quipping," Willow said. "How does that make sense?"

"There's a superhero movie that won't come out for a number of years," Xander told her. "You'll understand then."

"Xander, I can fight well enough with a shovel that I could take on the entire football team with ease. If Willow weren't just as skilled, I'd kiss you!" Jesse swore, making Willow laugh.

"Photographic reflexes is the best cheat ever," Xander said with a smile. "I've always found shovels useful, but wait until you see my skill with more traditional weapons, like an axe."

"Loot, level, and lunch," Willow suggested, as she used a pocket knife to loot the downed rats, dumping any poor quality pelts and steaks from inventory.

"Agreed," Jesse said, joining her.

"Rare drop: Unidentified Magic Ring," Jesse said.

"Stick it in inventory," Xander said. "It's more likely to be cursed than anything else, so we have to get it identified first."

"OK, leveling up," Willow said.

"I've got some to go for next level," Jesse said, looking at his character sheet.

"Me and Willow have almost the same amount of XP," Xander said, hitting his level up pop-up.

"I'm... going to split points between intelligence and wisdom," Xander said, watching his mana and energy control stats increase by a decent amount.

"Wisdom and charisma," Willow replied as she increased her own.

"Dude, you got barbeque skills?" Jesse asked.

"Sure, why?" Xander replied.

"Because we have half a dozen excellent steaks and I want to try one," Jesse replied.

"I'll bring the barbeque sauce," Willow offered, much to their surprise. "What? In some countries rat steak is a delicacy. It'll be cultural."

"Let's turn in the rat tails and get to cooking. I'm starved!" Jesse exclaimed.

**Half an hour later...**

The three teens stood there in front of Xander's house. Each had a twenty in their hands and music and meat sizzling could be heard from the back yard as their parents held an impromptu barbeque party.

"Note to self: the smell of grilled steak attracts parents," Xander said.

"We still have well over a dozen good steaks," Willow said. "Let's bribe a restaurant to cook them for us so we'll have cooked steak in inventory rather than raw, and get lunch."

"Good idea," Xander agreed.

**Half an hour later...**

Xander, Willow, and Jesse stood outside the restaurant, each with a small stack of twenties.

"Three things," Jesse said, drawing their attention. "One: your dad is a cheapskate. Two: I'm selling any extra steaks here from now on."

"And three?" Willow asked when Jesse didn't say anything further.

"And three: we are going to buy a small, portable grill and return to the wrecking yard because I WILL HAVE MY STEAK!" Jesse proclaimed firmly.

Xander grinned and started making a mental list of what they needed to grill steaks in the dungeon.

**Typing by: Ordieth**


End file.
